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I learnt a Lesson by Cutting Myself- You Don’t Try it for Heaven’s Sake!!

I know it’s ironic to say “DON’T TRY” when I myself have tried it. But think for a while as to why I say this? What is the reason of my warning you all? It is because cutting made me all the more depressed. It’s difficult to cope in the teenage as you try to blend in with adulthood. There are more expectations on you, to excel academically in order to build up a bright future, to grow independently and create a social standing along with mature and self controlled behavior and off course self confidence to bear with all odds. It is sad for Teens to get suicidal in moments when their pain exceeds pain-coping resources and being suicidal is often what is thought to be the way out. Is it right? But going suicidal for fun but getting addicted and put your life at risk is something not heard quite often. It‘s something to be read further to reflect upon and excepting the reality.

“I had a great friend circle and we were a curious lot, eager to know every bit of information that we came across. My life changed after the day I with four of my friends went for a movie and saw a suicidal attempt of cutting and making incisions at the wrist with a sharpener blade and making the saying true to its sense that ‘Movies influence us for good and bad’ I tried it until I saw blood gushing out from the veins of my palms.  

I began to cut with paperclips. I tried it, and my wrists bled red, hot, shiny, vivid, and brilliant red. It was so awesome. I felt like I was on top of the world by looking at that bright blood red. I continued with this until I realized that people would eventually look at my wrists and realize what I was doing. I then started it on my upper arms. I made deep cuts, going over them and over them until they were about 1/2 inch deep. I cut at least 2 times a day, some days more than others. I went into a habit of cutting myself deep so that I could feel the pain. I actually enjoyed the pain. Soon it was a daily dose for me. I went shopping for some long sleeve shirts to cover the torture I bore upon myself. But even after doing that extra effort on hiding the marks I couldn’t hide it from my mother. She started crying hysterically after looking at those by getting hold of me and what next? Adding more to my apprehension she told it to my dad. They didn't know what to do, so they took me to Hospital. I was referred back to Research Psychiatric Center. They taught me life skills of which I was reluctant to do at first. It was not long when I realized that I really did have a problem. I was at a very high suicide risk and went out of my wits to try something like suicide.

Now when I reflect back I can relate to the fact that it took me 4 years to overcome this problem, but I did it. I was actually ADDICTED TO SUICIDE. Going through this is not something you can get rid of within a day or two. I've still contemplated suicide, but I have promised myself that I will never act on that thought. I did something foolish and I have learnt my lesson. To conclude upon there is great saying “LET THE CHOICES YOU MAKE TODAY BE THE CHOICES YOU CAN LIVE WITH TOMORROW.” Get eHelp at: http://www.teensupport.us/advice.asp or call at 1-800-SUICIDE.



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